(Insert Queen's song tune) Who else feels the pressures of every day life?
I've been doing my "Tuesday Talks" via the gram (if you haven't checked it out, tune in next Tuesday!) and I get asked [very] often how do I deal with anxiety, depression, etc.
I promised I wouldn't turn my blog into depressing and negativity topics, but be relate-able and right now, I'm dealing with something and I'm feeling the pressures [of life]. I was recently fired from a position (after 6 weeks) - not because my performance was bad, but because the boss just didn't like me, my personality and he wasn't clicking with me - YES this is VERY TRUE and what was told directly to me! To everyone who asks what I do for a living, right now it is focusing on my blog, growing my social media and actively looking for a good job... but when this happened, I really questioned ME; why was I the problem? What could I have done better? I got fired for not being liked? Is this for real? I stayed in bed for 3 days and just let my thoughts run wild. The truth is, there are all these pressures we have to deal with in life. When one thing goes wrong, it affects a lot of other things: money, relationships, personal well-being. It's a domino effect. Right now I am dealing with the pressures of finding a job, having an income, putting on a big smile for interviews, etc., all while dealing with the thought in my head of "will this person like me?". I lost a job -> I am stressed about money -> I have to be mindful of my spending -> it can affect my relationship; Spoiler alert, I deal with the same issues you do, if not more.
Side Note: That is why I say to Alexey "Happy wife, happy life" haha :) -- talk about a positive domino effect.
We all have to maintain an image, whether it's for social media, pictures, TV, work, family, whatever it may be. I'm writing my posts in an effort to break that stigma and say BE YOU! Stop worrying. Easier said than done, I know. It takes time to gain self-confidence (which believe it or not, I am incredibly critical of myself and have very low self esteem at times) and realizing you are not alone. Yes, I am guilty of taking the perfect picture and looking good for my posts [thanks, pressures of society] but I've started doing more videos without makeup, letting my twitches and tics happen and I feel like I have more self-acceptance because of it. True, not everyone is going to like you, but circling back to my last posts, focus on the positive and put energy towards those who do like you for you! I know I used to focus on the negative comments on my pictures and then someone said to me, "those people don't deserve our attention" and that person was so right! I deserve to acknowledge people who say nice things and like me for me!
To those who ask about how I deal with depression, especially with all the haters I get, when I have my "moments" as I call them; I let it be. First off as for the haters, #girlbye -- I have much bigger things to worry about! If someone wants to spend their time being negative and trying to put me down, that's their problem, not mine. I like who I am and so do the people who know me. As for my "moments", I give myself a time-limit to be depressed. I found that setting a deadline helped me. Roughly 3 days, max! Yes, I've extended it once or twice but, setting a goal for yourself to get up and out will really help. I realize people looked at me and think "oh she has it all, why is she bitching" but the fact is, when you're dealing with these "moments" it's hard to get out of it, I know this! But then it's that positive things to look forward to! You also need to you tell yourself and know that there is ALWAYS someone out there who has it worse than you! It's unfortunate but it's so true! So for the situation I am currently dealing with, I had my 3 days and now I have to hit the ground running. I've started my blog, created my "Tuesday Talks" and am actively looking for a job (all good things!) Trust me, it wasn't easy to get started but I just kept telling myself "better to say I'll never do it again than I wish I did. There's no better time than NOW! You got this girl! You can do it!" If you are currently going through something, hey, we're going through it together! But know that I think YOU are AWESOME and YOU GOT THIS! Let's push forward together!!
Now that I've just rambled and went on different tangents, I want to say that just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Keep that in mind when you're out and about or want to say something to someone and realize that what you say/do can have an impact on that person. Smile and wave :)